Through this infertility journey in the day to day life time seems to move really slow when you are waiting to see if you are pregnant or waiting for another test or doctors appointment.
Life through infertility is A LOT of waiting.
But then there are times I am like WOW how has it already been another month or 18 months that have gone by.
Last month we were really excited as we were going into our first IUI,
we felt really hopeful as things kinda fell into place and it all felt right.
But sadly things didn't go the way we had hoped they would and that cycle failed. I knew going into it, that if the first IUI failed it was going to be hard, but it was harder than I ever thought it could be.
I think because it felt like everything was looking right, and we were finally getting help from Doctors that have all these skills, so in my mind I just think OKAY this is what we needed and we are finally going to get what we have been dreaming out the last year and half. And when it didn't work out I was crushed.
It was a new and different kind of grief then all the other months. And it was just really hard.
But we are throwing ourselves back in it all. And going to start another round of IUI and see where this takes us. I defiantly feel less hopeful this time around, not to say that I don't have any hope, it's just different and I think I have a lot more walls up to try and protect myself even just a little bit.
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