Saturday, April 24, 2021

The waiting during our infertility journey.

Oh the waiting. Let me just be completely honest here and tell you the waiting you go through while trying to have a baby is such a mind fuck. Sorry for my langue but it really is. I wish I could tell you I have handled the waiting with grace and peace, but I haven't. I have felt a lot of anger towards the universe, towards God, to all things bigger than me. There has been a lot of questions of WHY. 


And the thing is, there is just so much waiting. Waiting for ovulation, then waiting to see if your period is going to show up, waiting to see the doctor to ask questions, waiting to see if medication will work, waiting on more test and more meds. And during this waiting you are constantly going through there is so many waves of emotions. Some days I truly feel okay, like I know no matter what happens I will be a mom someday, it might look different then what I thought (which I feel like going down that path of thinking is a whole different story line), but it feels okay. Other days there is a lot of deep emotions of anger and hurt and wishing this wasn't my story or pain.

And sometimes the hardest part is not knowing how I am going to feel in a day, or when I see someone else announcing they are having a baby, some days I feel happy and joyful for that person, even though I wish it was me, it feels okay. But other days it feels like I got punched in the gut and can't move on with my day. 

And sometimes I just need a break, so this last month we did just that and we didn't try. I feel like this isn't something women who are going down this journey talk about a lot. And if you haven't been down this path before you might not understand the reason for needing a break, and I honestly it made me feel so guilty, like "Sara why are you wasting a whole month, a whole cycle, isn't this what you REALLY want?!?" But the thing is EVERY month for the last 13 months EVERY month as the days lead up to my period I have to go through this cycle of being positive, hoping for the thing I really want, sometime REALLY thinking this is our month, to then be COMPLETELY crushed when it doesn't happen. And I am starting to have a little PTSD every month. So I needed a break. I needed to not even have the chance to think maybe it could happen, because having even just a little bit of hope can feel so crushing. 

So even though through it, it was kinda hard. I had two weeks where I felt more like myself then I had in months. And my period came and it just felt normal. I was sad and depressed. I mean I had my period so it was GREAT, lol. But it wasn't those feelings of being disappointed and sad. 

We are stilling in this waiting phase of waiting on more test and seeing what our next steps should be after we wait on test. I wish I had more answers, or I wish I could just snap my fingers and this journey was over for us. But that is not the case so we just wait......

Friday, March 12, 2021

Our Infertility Journey.

Our Infertility Journey.... as I write that it still stings a little to say. 

The thing I wanted MOST in life was to be a wife and a mom. And most of my 20s were spent wanting the first part of being a wife and that journey took a lot longer to happen then I wanted and there were a lot of tears involved in that process also. But when I was 28 I met my now husband, and we got married just 2 years after we met, right after I turned 30. So just from an age standpoint I knew we couldn't wait too long to start trying to have a baby, but we also just wanted to enjoy being newlyweds for a bit! 

So around the first part of 2020 we kinda casually started trying, we all know what a year 2020 was so at first I didn't think much of it, but by the summer after I tracked my ovulation for a couple months I knew something was a little off, so after talking to my OBGYN she put me on some meds to help with my cycle and then we continued to try and wait and try and wait. And for anyone trying to have a baby you know the roller coaster of emotions that every month brings. And the last 4 months of 2020 were REALLY hard because every cycle started around a big event, first my birthday, then our anniversary, then it was Thanksgiving and of course Christmas. And I tried so hard to not get my hopes up but it just happens and you dream about how you will tell your spouse, friends, and family. And then you are completely heartbroken every time it doesn't happen. And I would be angry at myself for even having those hopes and dreams! 

So after months of trying  I kept saying, "okay if we don't get pregnant by the first of the year we will start talking to my doctor about next options." Which looking back seemed so scary and I think made things more real that this might not happen in the way I dreamed it to happen. I think moving towards steps of getting help with fertility meant I was going to have to mourn the loss of getting to surprise my husband we were having a baby in a fun way. Which I know might sound so silly, but when you spend months just wanting to see a positive test and dreaming up this plan it's hard to let go of that vision, even though I 100% would do anything to be pregnant and have a baby.

So 2021 hit and the first steps for us were getting my husband check out, these steps are probably so different for everyone, as doctors plans of actions are different along with every person. I have come to find out that I am very lucky and my OB has been very helpful in letting me get some test done and giving me meds before we had even been trying for a year. So I had previously gotten blood work done and everything from those test looked good for me. So we got my husband tested and got the report back, and while the results weren't the best they also weren't the greatest and it was the first time my doctor recommended us seeing someone else and looking into maybe going to see a fertility doctor. And I honestly thought hearing those words were going to be hard to hear, but I feel like at this point it was like okay something isn't right, lets make the steps to figure them out. Now don't get me


wrong I wasn't happy to hear any of this, but it wasn't as crushing as I thought.

That was the day I really felt like our Infertility journey started and where I really started digging in deep on changes we could make, things we could do, and taking in all the knowledge I could on infertility. 

We have our first appointment on Monday to talk about my husbands results and it's another waiting game and while I am trying to be hopeful there are just so many unknowns to this whole process that are really scary. 

And I am writing all this because I feel like it has already been so helpful and healing to hear so many women's stories and paths of fertility that maybe this will help someone else in their journey. And if you know me you know that I do enjoy documenting life and things so having this space to remember this journey I think will be healing for me through this process. 

So here is the start of hopefully getting our little baby! 

 




 


Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Our Barn Wedding Day | Two years ago

Ohio, USA

 Two years ago all my dreams came true. It was seriously the best day, with the best people, 

and my DREAM vision. I planned for MONTHS for this perfect day and

 honestly I wouldn't have changed a thing, other then I wish it didn't go by in a flash! 

 Here's a little look back of the day. 

 


























 

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

World Market | Outdoor Rug Sale

It's that time of year where so many of us are starting to think of patio weather! 
Here's to hoping it comes soon for all of us! 

And what better way to give your patio a quick upgrade then a fun outdoor rug. World Market is having a great sale on some awesome rugs right now so I wanted to share! Check them out! 






Wednesday, September 18, 2019

One Room One Store | Walmart Dining Room

This week's One Room Designs is from WALMART!

I never was much of a Walmart lover, and don't worry I still would prefer
 to browse through Target any day. BUT Walmart has been stepping up their game
 a lot lately and I kinda love the challenge of going to Walmart to find something good! 

And you just can't beat the prices at Walmart. Are you a Walmart lover? 




And this whole room design cost $1000
I am planning to do these post weekly so if you are looking for idea's for a room and 
want me to do one from a certain store comment below and I would love to do one for you!  
Also do you have a favorite item from this space?

Thursday, September 5, 2019

One Room One Store | Target Bedroom Design

I thought it would be fun to do a weekly design post called One Room One Store
and just like it sounds I will create a room design with items all from ONE store.

A little back story. I have LOVED Interior Decorating since I was a young girl.
 While everyone else was watching cartoon shows I always loved design shows, and give me a
game where I could create floor plans and arrange furniture and I was a happy camper!
I also use to rearrange my room multiple times a year, probably when I was suppose
to be cleaning it all because it fueled this creative passion I had/have. 

While creating this mood board I laughed a little because this is the
modern day version of when I use to cut out pictures from magazines
and catalogs, of furniture,  and glue them in a note book of all my ideas I had.
(before the days of Pinterest)
And 20 some years later I am doing about the same thing ;)

But this just proves how much I LOVE doing this, and I really do want this
to be a space where I can help you or inspire you to have a home you love.

So the store for this week is probably a favorite of many of ours if not all, TARGET!
And I started with Target because I wanted to show how you really can create a beautiful space on a budget. 









And this whole room design cost $1545

I am planning to do these post weekly so if you are looking for idea's for a room and 
want me to do one from a certain store comment below and I would love to do one for you!  
Also do you have a favorite item from this space?

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Fall Decor Ideas

No matter what the holiday or season I like to change up decor around the house, and sometimes it's as simple
as a few items on the bar cart, changing a few pillows or small items around the house. 
BUT fall is one of the seasons I like to REALLY enjoy change things up. And I know not everyone is on that same level, 
but I think you can make it simple and change up a few things to give a more cozy vibe.
And that's really what fall is about for me. COZY VIBES!

For me I feel like I fall in the middle of the road when it comes to fall decor. I love all the little pumpkins, 
but I don't want it to come off as TOO MUCH. And I totally believe that your home is YOUR HOME so you do what you LOVE. 

So here are some simple things you can add to your home to give it the cozy vibes 
with out it feeling like pumpkins everywhere. 
(click on the photo and it will take you to be able to buy each item!)



BUT if you like the look of everything pumpkins and it screams FALL here is a fun list for you. 








Like I said, I think I fall in the middle of the road with keeping it simple but adding a few pumpkins and will be sharing all my fun decor around the house soon with new and old things! 

Tell me which products you love the most! And if you buy anything please share a photo! 


Monday, July 29, 2019

How Sara Green Collective Design Service Works

If you are new to following along,  Hello I am Sara. I created this space, with the hope, to help every day people create a home they LOVE. Whether that's through you hiring me to help you create that space or just simply following along to be inspired by things I do in my home or things I share.

If you are looking to hire me to help with a room in your home I thought it would
 be helpfulto go through the steps on how it works so you are informed.

When you first contact me about your space I will ask you to send pictures and fill out a 
questionnaire so I can get a better idea of your space. I have a couple different
 options of design services I offer, you can check them out here.
Interior Design Price List

For the most budget friendly option the whole process is done through email. I really wanted to give people an option that was affordable to everyone, because I am super passionate about everyone having a home they love, and I know it's just not doable for everyone to hire an interior designer that cost a lot of money. 
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to have a home that you love.



Once I get pictures of your space, you have filled out the questionnaire and I get a understanding of what you are looking for I put together a mood board for your room. From there it's finalizing
 what things you love and that will work for your room, I will then put together a shopping list 
of all the items along with a list of where everything will go!



If this is something you are interested in, or just have questions about the process you can contact me at  - Saragreendesigns@gmail.com

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